You're trying so hard to speak it pains me.

Why o why, why now.

See you later 老Mm.

I will have no eyeliner on this time.

So I've decided to stay on Blogger, has served me well since 2006.

Yes Sir! Blue is the way to go. For now at least.

It is supposedly my lucky color. We shall see heh.

We were very excited to shop at Changi City Point though a little skeptical at first.

Its new, I like that you don't have to butt-knock with frenzy CNY shoppers.

You guys should check out that place sometime.

Mega buy from G2000!

Wish there was a better picture. Iphone has its limitations.

Should I jump on the Tumblr bandwagon?
But this space is where all my memories are stacked.
So maybe I'll just edit the template... starting to look too yellow.
Random entry yeah you know the serious part always comes after some rambling. ;b

Hahaha aw too cute
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Thats why 500 Days of Summer will always be my favorite movie.


HAPP(Y) MERR(Y) 2012 TO ALL!

Disappointment is an understatement.

Why am I so distracted??????!

:..\

Two days to submission, 3000-word essay untouched.

2500-word essay stuck at half.

If I were to complete in time I must be a genius!

Hahaha still can come here type type.

Theres still a TRUCKFUL of albums that hasn't seen the light of day.

Feb 2011 is ridiculously overdue.

Goodness gracious.

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One of the best weekends in a long while.

Times like these you know you can only count on family.

To breakaway from whatever disguise put on for the outside world,
to crumble and just be yourself--be afraid, flustered, be gloomy even....
not needing to struggle against the blues.
They will understand. If they can't, they accept you in spite of it all.

Although usually a big joker to us Daddypops isn't a person good with affection.
But lately I see that he has made my problem his problem.
He's starting to listen, instead of just providing solutions.
Digging through a colorful archive of life stories
he's like a careful doctor injecting positivity into every part of my being.
I see how far he'd go. I see how much he wants me to lose that frown.

During our early morning walk at Botanic Gardens
pacing step by step he said this:

"Everyone's darkest hour lasts no longer than 60 minutes.

As of today I haven't found it in me to express xo freely
(Pops hinted the other time he'd appreciate hugs from us so cute!)
but I love you very much. Thankyous' never enough.

I am Sunshine because my father is The Sun.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part(I)

What makes someone beautiful?

Never Say Never.
I believe in the above, and not because its title of a Justin Bieber movie. 

Haha though yesss I adore the boy.

Never Back Down.

Coincidentally title of another movie.

But I refuse to take the 'never back down' approach.

As much as we can insist, and persist in an attitude or task,

there comes a time we all need to check ourselves.

Otherwise life becomes a more difficult journey than necessary.

Thats what I think so yeah.

We shouldn't confuse the two.

"Make Love, Not War"

But war doesn't only exist between nations;
sometimes a lifelong struggle within the family... amongst best friends.
The scariest being when war lies within yourself.

"Make Love, Not War"
This is how people learn to get back on their feet right?
Hence my current windows wallpaper.
I need some time alone.
Wait for me, if you're my loved one. (:

Goodnight funny world.

 

Pick-up hello. Not Throw-up bye bye.

He's such a gem I hate to lose, yet incapable of holding.

___


Life has taken its toll on me.

I wish I could write about happier things but to be honest 

such immense discomfort and worrying thoughts are lethal when combined.

And somehow or rather, Im the only one to blame.

Coming clean.

For a good half year I indulged in alcohol every weekend,

a package deal of late nights and crashing after sunrise.

The routine was addictive with awesome friends.

At that point of time, no telltale signs that my body struggled to keep up.

It is true. Tons of people enjoy a havoc lifestyle with no serious consequences.

Hell, I don't even smoke nor drink excessively. So why me?

There's no asking why. Some are blessed, some more unfortunate.

I just happen to be the latter.

It is unimaginably frightening.

Because I can do without a lot of things but no, not my sight.

Even the slightest possibility pulls me into worry-wart mode.
We take for granted. We panic way too late.

Anyway Im alright friends, will definitely keep the faith going.

Over the past year I've learnt to complain less.
You fuss about a problem and the problem seems to multiply.
Gotten to the point where I might disappear for a bit to compose myself, by myself.
Hahahaha does it make any sense?
Im thankful for every one of your texts, shall say it again--I love yall.
To Bbam especially in spite of my cowardly move
still you're trying your best to be here for me.
From the very start (slurry/nonsensical/always gettin into silly fixes haha)
giving "developed" advice whenever Im a helpless state of mind.
Thank you thank you thank you. :]


And here's what I have to push me the extra mile:

The Devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul, or we get fat.
Albert Einstein

The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.

"Faith is taking the first step when you don't see the whole staircase."

I want her hair, the length of curls just right!

But hmmmm.... what if it makes me look like a kid?!

HOW NOW BROWN COW. (TBG's current phrase haha)

Look at how much Meatball (left, obviously :b) has grown!

Hahahaha they're so dam cute just the photo makes me grin from ear-to-ear.

RIP

Home from impromptu Real Steel showing!

Ran 4 km today (gym feels awesome after such a long hiatus)

and a good movie makes the night even better.

So Punkie and I took a quick shower before driving out.

Yay big fans of chillax dates we were both in....

Hoodies! And Im gonna buy me more comfort wear, heh.

Anyway as if Hugh Jackman and Dakota Goyo (kid star) didn't already rock the screen,

the movie's soundtrack is equally dope. Mega badass!!

When I first saw the trailer--"ohmy gosh. isn't that Till I Collapse"
One of Eminem's earlier songs (2002 thats like, 9 years ago yeaaaah)

cus back then I was totally hooked on it.

Till the roof comes off
Till the lights go out
Till my legs give out
Can't shut my mouth
Till the smoke clears out
And my high burns out
Imma rip these shit
Till my bones collapse

hahaha now you know I grew up an angsty teen.

Sometimes.

7 hours and 7000 miles away

My paternal grandmother passed on yesterday.

Semi-conscious for almost half a year and physically unresponsive,

Im actually glad her pain's now relieved.

Surely it isn't comfortable to be put on a drip that long.

Daddypops seems fine.

They have known for some time nothing can be done.

Goodbye Novena-Ahma.

"Studies have proven that listening to music strengthens the right-hemisphere of the brain.
It literally changes the structure.

Those same studies have found that people who listen to music are generally smarter

and have more emotional intelligence than those who don’t."

For real? I spend at least 2 hours on music everyday!

Haha then again, people who listen to a lot of music are rather um, eccentric.

Remember saying I'll post this but never did.
My favorite electric guitarist.

'Formal' message. From him its cutest--I swear cutest ever.
Reading it makes my heart melt.
But it also makes my eyes tingle with sadness.
This, is exactly why I've come to like you
so much so myself found it hard to believe.

Really one of a kind.
I'll definitely miss you.
I know it because you're still here and I feel that lil tug.

Gee, more than a month since I last logged in.

Been busier than usual with this semester's Digital Media unit--

creating a video portrait from scratch.

All the filming and editing slots took up the weekends... 

but still I had to party to balance out the stress.

So life has been two extremes; you find me either at school or in the club.

Ha ha ha.

I need to quit procrastinating and pen down one million thoughts.

My Aquarian head is burstg from the one million thoughts.

I have been very happy with recent company.

Despite seeing the same faces almost every Friday and Saturday,

I enjoy moments of sprightly zest right down to the comedic suppers.

As the end of Sept nears, this bunch of awesome people will be gone

and I guess we gotta deal.

I-I love you like a love song baby
And I keep it in re-pe-pe-peat

Helluva catchy!

DC paper was better than expected. 

Tomorrow's dedicated to report and Saturday--Saturday is PLAY.

0400, Im tryna digest the Asam flavored maggi.

Stomach on fire.
Hmmmmmmm.
 

Whazzup folks.
I wonder who still checks this space... to you reading,
hurhur, thanks for having faith!

0349, just had a last dose of coffee.
(I don't usually take coffee but it works like drug to keep me awake.
A must-drink for long nights.)

Been sleeping at 6AM to catch up, complete assignments on time bla.

Final exam this Thu--Debating Comms.
Hooray 'cause we received an extension--Report to a Client Mon 27 Jun!

Shall rush it by Friday anyway.

Need the weekend to let loose, going mad from theories in my head.

重点：

I PROMISE TO UPLOAD ALL THE OVERDUE VIZUALS.

From February. Massive flood of faces.

I PROMISE TO UPLOAD ALL THE OVERDUE VIZUALS.

Will be back after uh, alls done with this semester okay?

Which is very very, very soon. Cannot wait.

Alright enough.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
Now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything

Collaboration by fave Youtube artistes. / P.o.r as I mug.
Christina Grimmie's voice has soo much character while Sam Tsui is sigh.
The epitome of my ideal:

☺ White

♯ Charismatic

☼ Awesome Smile

♫ Talent

♥ Sophisticated Boyish

√ All Checked.

Hahaha fine I coined the term "sophisticated-boyish". Yknow what I mean.

NO MORE PARTYING TILL JULY.
Reports, gym and chillack days... Yippedoo!

8]

BIEBER FEVER?

I saw him today - what timing and coincidence.

Fate works like magic. True story.

Yes I have remnants of love left. There's nothing to hide.

But to move on was never about accepting someone new.

It is for me, envisioning his happiness.
And Im almost near.

Be smiling again in the morning.
Thank you angels.

The things I do to myself.

Sometimes, being ahead of the game you know what hurts.

You know what not to click. Still it doesn't stop you. 

Thank God the drinks last night has me feeling a little numb today.

I should be alright and I really am.

This - is just an uneasy tug from within.

Down with mad cough/throat for almost a month.

Unable to sing (helllll that sucked), gym or even focus in class. 

Now all the med's done but sickness isn't.

And the room seems to be closing in on me.

Shall go take a jog.

Teeheh REFRESH CAROL!

Sam oh Sam Tsui, with a voice and smile like that
who would ever hold it against you?

Lazy Sunday. Playing on repeat.
Recent posts are mostly videos but you know music really makes up my world.
To just chillack at home, laze on the bed,
listen to some awesome covers, google lyrics and sing along...
Yeah thats my idea of a good ol stay-in day.

Bored? So am I.
Here's cold entertainment after the jump.
ps: Please finish the song first or I'll hold it against you.

Been tryna figure Dreamweaver since morning,

cross-eyed scrolling through the html/css guide.

Webfolio's due soon. Panicky mode.

By jinxed coincidence my closest girls have reclaimed singlehood

in a span of 2 months or less, including dearest Sissy.

I think we are fortunate though, to have each other for company.

I didn't really reach out to anyone last year (by choice) because they were then committed. 

It felt like I was better dealing alone.

Just glad that we all share a common understanding now 

instead of whining about life or blaming the people.

So lately Im guilty (!) but not too guilty, of partying more than usual.

Guess in recognizing my own flaws and learning from the past...

Im actually enjoying the alcohol, the dancefloor, the interesting convos

and being genuinely happy with fantastic friends.

+++ DON'T SLUT IT UP / PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR +++

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul

Life is good.

School, awesome stayovers and laugh-till-you-drop friends.

Literally. I remb rolling on the floor, clutching my stomach side

and ohhh at one instance.... tearing even. - _-)

 

Must-watch. Not your usual sappy plot,

Eventually, my dear girlfriends and I will overcome that pull with the right one. 

High up we won't ever go back where we started.
Strangers again? Nah.

10,001 things to blog about.

But sho fricken lazy.... how?!???

Went to the gym instead. Finally a productive workout session!

Small girl vigorously pedalling while head-bobbing to rock tunes.

Must have been quite a mad sight ha ha.

Flood of pictures soon.
For now check out Boyce Avenue please. They're awesome acoustic.
How nice it is to have someone special sing for you. Dontya think?
#mysecretfantasy

Made a wrong turn once or twice

Dug my way out blood and fire
Bad decisions that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated misplaced misunderstood

Even the seemingly best disappoints.

Let's just do well ourselves, shall we.

Laura Marling, Brit musician I can really relate to.

That much I cried. You should hit this twice.

One for her spellbinding performance, another for the lyrics.

I know I said I love you, but I'm thinking I was wrong

Not in this new romantic way.
__


I promised noncommitment till this independence is deep-rooted.

And with the past months of dissecting life under a microscope
I have become a (perhaps scarily) self-sufficient person.

It is too true.

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone." Orson Welles

We can and we will still make sacrifices,

as long as we know there is no obligation to receive the same, we are self-sufficient.

I've taken control of my happiness for a while now.

Reset my thoughts instead of faulting the people responsible for my emotions.

Truthfully speaking.... no one is.

Been on the phone a lot with my girls. I used to be in their place.
The calls somehow affirm I am on the right track.

Relationships complement us. Even then, that is the best it gets.

A wise friend said, love loses appeal when love becomes work.
There is absolutely no reason to place expectations on any one person.

Not a partner, not friends, not family. You are your own homeground.

This segmented mindset's my newfound realization.
Being self-sufficient is so important. It frees the unnecessary priorities.

That said! I'll always believe in love and be eager to give,

how shall I say.... I arrived on Earth with such hope. Haha. :b
But I'd keep in mind never to cripple myself without it.

"都这么熟了还要握手"
Hahaha. Yep this is the title post.

I am finally going to write about my birthday.

February it was but looking at the photos makes me feel truly blessed to have them in life.

Close as we are, our clique hardly celebrates birthdays, it will presumably be spent with special ones.

(We all had partners, still do except for me of course!)

ps: jump break enabled for visual-heavy entries.

Last Friday - 38.9.
Today (a week later) - 38.8.
This is not cool. I was looking forward to the weekend.

Now its more brain damage party than paradise. :(


The end of semester calls for a post.
Screwed the finals yest but thats okay, because it was a mass-screwing thing.
Hahahaha. *insert half of middle finger*
What was Fang thinking when she set the dam paper.
Nandos with my class, then Sanctum.
Sure it cannot compare to Avatar but I appreciate the father-son relationship.
And how they didn't let Carl recover like he never just saw his girlfriend (spoiler).
Because thats hardly possible. Physically or mentally.

Timbre @ Old School for celebratory drinks.
Maybe ice-breaking too. ;b
Revealed my tolerance or non, to them. I really need to step up.
Thank you all.

So hurray holidays, hurry away headache.
Sleeping now. 11:19PM.
Pigtures soon.

I am a deep thinker. That I won't deny.

Even so the people I cherish most are ironically the ones who do not evoke my thoughts.

I love the people I don't have to spend time analyzing, scrutinising and then quietly judging.

Tis, triggered by an auto-defense mechanism.

The ones that are easy going, contented,
the non schemers, non bitches and non complicated.

Hardly an intentionally bad thought in mind they make the (my) world such a better place.

The ones I feel safe with.

Because when you finally tire of all the drama
you just want to go home to these gems (extremely rare).

So if you'll listen and share, laugh with me,
sing about life, enjoy hearty meals together;
if you are happiness in the simplest way possible,
Come stand by me.

I've not much to promise you but my true self.
This is my most recent ambition.

I am flying~ happy now, Longnecker extended the submission.
One day but still time. Forgot to upload these previously.

02.02.11 CHINESE NEW YEAR EVE

while doing my report late at night
i suddenly turned to the right

Really miss having you around Sissy.

The room's much too quiet

it feels like Im the last man standing.

Courage. Sometimes I applause myself.
When it comes to matters (literally) of the heart,

I drive straight into the wall. Not without careful thought...

but with no fear of getting spurned after careful thought.

I do what I feel the need to do. And almost always I am glad.

On a side note my room is too gloomy to inspire the hardworking me.

The entire setting with drawn curtains, orange lights

and huge bed right behind the workplace table

just makes me want to carry on sleeping all day long.

Thats exactly what happened today.

But a ha! Just repositioned the laptop, shall work through the night.

By the way BMW has always been my favorite car brand (convertibles o!mg).