This would be the last. And it will be a blast. :)

I would wait, if it takes you forever. "I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, it's going to be worth it." Day after day, my feelings reminded me. But waiting for someone and clinging on to nothing at all is very different. Happy Countdown everyone!

To not feel sad for we used to love and laugh together. In that enclosed space, she was however quite far away. It's hard to feel complete without the essence of long-time friendship.
 

:*)

To not feel so strongly when you're close by. It's hard, almost suffocating how actions and heart do not align. I can do no more than fall back or match up with your pace.

Everything is hard. But don't be mistaken, Christmas has been good. I will write about Christmas and all the happiness! It's not that difficult to smile. We just need to concentrate on the moment. The wandering thoughts about what-used-to-be, what-might-be, and how-you-would-like-it-to-be, let them haunt us at night.

We take the best that others can give. We are content.

Dumbfounded.

TV for thought.

 

GE Life.

HOME ALONE NIGHT #13. GRATITUDE.

To have complete freedom to write but also to easily remove an entry that is insignificant or 'unhealthy' on hindsight. Some entries will come and go. Speak LESS BAD and think MORE GOOD about people. Either way it comes back to you. :) That's what I thought today. The best part of keeping auhclorac.blogspot.sg since 2006. This space belongs to me. In the end these archives are made up of people, emotions and memories I deem worthy to look back on in future. Good or bad, we are growing every day.

“So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it.”
 

We either want it, or we don't want it. There is no in-between.

To each her own although I cannot understand the things people suggest.

 

"See now you're left with nothing!!"

 

The 'something' here according to them, refers to the attention given by potential suitors. I must admit this much: Indeed it is a nice feeling to be chased. To be showered with gifts from time to time, to receive them as surprises, to have your wants and opinions prioritized by someone. It is a privilege to be treated exceptionally well and being aware of that brings about a nice feeling. But it stops there -- it stops at nice.

 

This is not that warm fuzzy feeling you'll want to keep for long. This is not from the person who makes you feel different. This is not 'something' we should allow to go on just so that we may continue to bask in all of their attention... because then it would be a scam. Not just to the party giving with no obvious return, but also a scam to ourselves.

 

There is absolutely no reason to feel bitter or jealous when this person eventually moves on from us. In all honesty I know I will be genuinely happy for him. We did not or could not accept, not at that point in time, not now. We make our own decisions and we must let others make their fair choices. Yet keeping this 'unwanted' attention is somehow of significance to a lot of women these days. I don't know. Is there some psychological explanation? Maybe it is the subconscious need to verify one's self-worth with attention given by the opposite sex? I will never be able to understand. I am insecure in some ways (hahahaha shit so honest for what) but am I glad I never valued myself based on how many men I could string into texting me at once. It is quite a dreadful form of narcissism, in my opinion. It is more important to make ourselves clear. We can still try to become a good friend to people whom matter. If it works out platonically that would be the best outcome. And if it doesn't, well at least we tried.

It takes time. After some time we know. We will either want it and chase/wait for it. Or we don't want it and let it go. That's all. This is not a football game. There is no reserve.

 

 

Home Alone Night #2 GOODNIGHT.

 √  Quality time with her.