# 191

i am having severe hair loss, i think

any kind souls please offer suggestions
thank you.

preferably the above.
i want Volume. :(

* * *

met up at long last with TBG today!
shopping followed by supper at Spize's.
oh my, am i solitary or whattt
never knew such a yummy hangout existed.
price is reasonable & food is above The Prata House
in my opinion,
maggie goreng pataya was damn good.
:O

Borders after.
all the BEST for your exams Darlings!


yet today
some things made me super down.
Green-Purple Elephant is gone,
the one and only unique toy imported...
my Green-Purple Elephant
missing from its usual shelve.

no more addition to the lil family.

Nights.

# 190

Saturday 21/6

as you can see, a June backdate.
since it happened like 3 months ago
i'll post just visuals to input that day's happenings.

Pops fetched us to Yishun
for my Aunty5's house-warming party.

while waiting at Baby's block.
(i forgot my precious butterfly clip
so please forgive any flat hair-do.)

his favorite habit.

i was damn delighted to find a








KTV room,
along with wireless microphones for our singing leisure!!
though its not exactly KBOX or Partyworld
but but but nothing to complain about man.

had buffet dinner home-cooked,
all i clearly remember is BigSis gorging herself silly.
no joke we were done with our second rounds
and she kept going to refill her empty plate
with sorts of food, soups, desserts, salads what not!
Chelly, Baby&I stood around watching her eat...

tsk tsk tsk

she couldn't get enough of, Coleslaw HAHAHA!
think 3 4 portions of it.

thereafter inside the cozy room
we sang songs, talked cock & cam-clicked a lot.

my cousin Joanna's pride - adorable Zenden.
he is ultra handsome for a little boy!

Chelly Number 1.
hopefully when she goes Aussie next year
we won't ever drift apart with time. :)

will miss your company Darling.
DON'T GO LAHHHHH. ;D

notice an extra pop-up in two of the photos?
thats no junk, thats my Lilover.
my Lilover trying to be funny hee. :D

-

on a side note,
singing at Artchemist has been canceled
for weeks now due to Superband2. :(

here's the latest episode of
大风吹-当我们宅一块/林宥嘉 背影

rendition of 背影 is superbly nice i feel.
i am proud of Hideaki-Bassist and Liyi-Keyboard
as my teachers. they are passionate, hilarious people,
most importantly very Talented musicians. :)



watch in high quality at Youtube.
happy their band got into the grand finals!
okay more recent updates very soon,
no more Junes and Julys hahahahaha.

# 189

life's been quite alright.

officially graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.
apart from job hunting and random dates with Girlfriends,
Baby's rare off-days are spent with him on rounding trips
whereby Supper is always the kick, i indulge in yummy food!

zillionsssss of backdates to write about
though i am lazy to blog these days.
edited the template, changed the reds away
hoping it might motivate.

here's visuals from July
a Sunday at Pops apt for swimming.

pretty sky aye?!
spotted the white dash of line.

damn chui every time i go out with my so-called family
confident they love me exactly the way i am!
cannot be bothered to dress or make up blah, anddd
Baby's RDS cap is savior on such days lol.

MRT



more recent shots of us
Prawning at Pasir Ris Park.

i was ineffective for hours,
until the Uncle actually gave me a Fish bait instead
to help me break my zero record HAHAAH!!
& less than 5 minutes i got my very first Prawn! :O

Lilover and I.

altogether feasting on freshly BBQ-ed prawns.
tasted a bit raw to me. gonna bring marinating sauce in future.
prawnnnnns - i enjoy them but not their cholesterol. :(


gotta prep for the Weekend already.
have fun friends!

# 188

if you detest vulgarities you should stop here.
this entry is heated, i am Fucking angry now
and won't bother to do the *s or f- sort of things.
spell it all out


its funny because i don't feel guilty not one bit
screaming at my Mother or even hurling words.
she is FLYING CRAZY, PARANOID, DOUBLE STANDARDS
and hell R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S beyond imagination.

you screwed me up badly,
living with you
i can come home skipping happy
yet in in five fucking minutes
you can make me feel like i had the worst day of my life
again. and again and again a cycle repeats.
its taking a toll on me

then i can come home from a setback, tired,
in need of quiet peace to rejuvenate my senses.
but you know what???!
YOU CAN NEVER GIVE ME, OR ANYONE PEACE.
peace is a term so foreign to you
are fucking quarrels the air you breathe i wonder?

i try & understand the plight you're in, loneliness
loneliness is able to drive a person mad.
after these years it seems the only lesson you reflected
is Nothing. pushing the blame to 3 of us against poor you...
WELL, FOR FUCK? CAN YOU TELL ME FOR FUCK?
YOU WERE HIS WIFE AND YOU ARE MY MOTHER.

every time you fuck me up i try and tolerate your nonsense.
a drop of water on the basin, a fucking strand of hair i missed,
you fuck me up > how a prisoner gets fucked up in his cell.

for my shoes, bags and clothes that are not significant in amount.
i know!!! goat dammit i know how much is A LOT -
MY FRIENDS HAVE A LOT OF SHOES, BAGS AND CLOTHES.
what are their Mothers going to do? KILL THEM?!!
I RARELY EVEN SHOP FOR FUCKS' SAKE.

when i am at war with you
through the door
i wish i am fucking stronger, like BigSis
so i can go face to face with your bloody demons.
i lose control of myself and i remember what Dad says
to ignore; i cannot & the tolerance i used to have is gone.
somewhere in them they recognize its never possible
but its the best advice they can give.
rage overwhelms me
as it has caught them countless of times in the past.

your deluded memory.
i used to believe your accusations but it sickens me today.
you are a selfless Mother i won't deny that.
your obsession though, your fucking extreme obsession
brought all your efforts down to point zero.
your voice a loud roaring thunder
going on & on & on & on & on & on & on &&& on
like a buzzing bee on for hours.
your moods fucking unpredictable,
i am your punching bag for whenever, whatever.



they hated living with you.
no fucking body has a single idea
what it is like, living with you
& ALONE. a 1-on-1 battle
i am always bound to lose.
i need to rent a room fast
said it before haven't done it
yeah to hell that i got no ability to.
i will find a way to fucking Break-Free soon.

God help me, help me to get a grip.
help me to tune a music when she starts.

# 187

backdated visuals, July?!

but never mind HAHA
moreeeee to come still.

since i have some free time today
i shall write a little on,

HIP HOPPIN' SERIES
a random afternoon long ago
Baby and I got terribly bored after lunch,
so then we decided to play.... dress-up.
already in the usual XXL tees which explains why.

he made me pose this way and that,
i willingly allowed myself to be Baby's amusement.
laugh my ass off here's a few dumb shots:

wah laooo my leg damn short please,
tilt a bit can only see the feet lol.
sharks man! >:|


enough of the mouth-twitching stunts.
I THINK THE FOLLOWING SUITS ME BETTER!

hurhurhur - mildly retard.

hmmmm i really miss times like these.
when we had the whole day ahead of us
free to laze and run around the house.
especially yummy lunch downstairs,

板面板面板面!:(

-

GROCERY BUYING I L♥VE
hideous captures of me but whateverr~
i am in quite an awesome mood!
teehawhaw :D

Baby's face damn plastic, aka advert for phone!
HAHAHAHA SUPERBLY CANDID.

holding your hands skipping down
lanes of canned food and potato chips etc.,
thats the best best feeling on Earth
knowing we're all set for a lovely home day!

Lilover you make me alienate from town
- all its pretty clothings and fancy shoes...
yet somehow along the way i've realized that nothing,
not even the most exciting shopping spree
beats waltzing down Shop N Save with you. (:

-


Goodnight World
before Ivy the Honey skins me alive
for being late again tomorrow!

# 186

thewhimsical-z will be history by tomorrow.
so friends if you've been very lazy,
please relink now! (:

* spell my name drawkcab

# 185

i'll always row a boat across our river
i would walk the desert between our feets,
no matter just to get through to you.
but this evening it finally dawned on me

what if the water is too deep
the sands beneath too hot to endure,
what happens then, if i'd be drowned and blistered
drowned and blistered before reaching you.


only i need to understand.
its exactly how i feel, this evening.