My Gratitude and Goodbye.
It isn't easy to give up a group that consist of individuals you put effort in getting to know. While I mightn't be close to each and every single one, they mattered as a whole. There were also those I cared for more than others.
I removed myself. It was something I've been reluctant to do for many reasons. But this feeling is one of liberation from the tension and pretense. Used to overcompensate, thinking that everything gone wrong must be my mistake. This time nope. Don't tell me I can stay on despite the circumstances. Don't tell me that, because you aren't me.
For that person who was special to me, I think I have written enough the past years.
Instead as a very last note I'd like to pen this here.
I removed myself. It was something I've been reluctant to do for many reasons. But this feeling is one of liberation from the tension and pretense. Used to overcompensate, thinking that everything gone wrong must be my mistake. This time nope. Don't tell me I can stay on despite the circumstances. Don't tell me that, because you aren't me.
For that person who was special to me, I think I have written enough the past years.
Instead as a very last note I'd like to pen this here.
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To J (some day)
I don't talk much about you here. I am too preoccupied with my own thoughts. Every time people questioned me on my choice, I don't know how to make them understand without sounding absurd. Well, that's how good you were to me.
This is not what you want to hear. But let me say a last time. I appreciate all that was done back then. You were always concerned about my well-being and what made me happy. Inclined to give me what I wanted and what I preferred. I remember you were the only one who stayed till morning when I gambled in another country and lost like shit (losing with me). I remember the earnest ways of your words and actions. Yea I am aware that getting together with somebody else, I may not necessarily end up with a partner like you. Men will chase, make sacrifices. But waiting is another thing, and for so long. If I had felt that my feelings were massive, yours definitely weren't lesser.
However it is a fact I will not be able to see us together in this lifetime's situation. And I hope one day you can open your heart and forgive me for that. You probably think I didn't notice anything you do. I did. I simply couldn't see 2 persons at once.
However it is a fact I will not be able to see us together in this lifetime's situation. And I hope one day you can open your heart and forgive me for that. You probably think I didn't notice anything you do. I did. I simply couldn't see 2 persons at once.
Later on, I couldn't understand why you had to do what you did. Although it has come to this point where nothing matters but you to enjoy life without the implications I cause. For me, too. I thank you and I wish you a most deserving love of your faithful feelings. :)
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I leave because that's the only way I can keep living openly, honestly and discover the kind of love I want. I bear no hard feelings for anyone whatsoever. Thank you for the moments.
P.S. I know I'm the only one who can pull me out of sadness. I knew that hence I didn't respond to messages and calls. But I saw these. Love helps people to carry on. Thank you, my loves. A few out of the many that helped pick me up.
A Happy Ending Is Not Necessarily A Happy End.
The beauty of this quote is what I have experienced.
-----The End-----