Sometimes life or God, has unexpected ways of showing up with a plan.

 See you, Barcelona!

My anchors at work. : )

Every day life.

A Tribute.

'Twas an awesome night. To be flanked by two bestest friends - one on the right, one on my left - is such a blessing.

I'm in a vulnerable state. I will not scold you, Rolly.

If I may boldly say, the best thing that happened in years. : )

My Gratitude and Goodbye.

What I thought. Still making it count with my fave pair. =)
May not have as many chances, especially the 答波 haha. Yay!

This is also, the way to make life easier for everyone without having to hide this and that. I see no more reason to invest in a group when every time I'm around, people don't show up cause of a domino effect. I have friends who appreciate and actually want my company. I'll be happier there.

Now
finish whatever business left here → pack up → and leave.
For good.
Everything will be alright! (:

BFF2 and I wishes everyone 恭喜发财！

No matter what anyone else says my dear girl has proven herself very worthy.

♥

Happy Lunar New Year everyone.
事事顺利，身体健康，羊年行大大运！

Had a ball of fun playing 小偶。Thanks for making my day. It's quiet this year but I will have a little faith.

Fishball Face (   :B   )

Helloooo mid-day career switch

For love is as strong as death;
its jealousy unyielding as the grave. 

—Song of Solomon 8:6

It's so much easier to be loved, I realize.

Had a lot to write... but this headache is back again.

Sigh pie. Keep calm and eat 遥遥。

Happy Two Thousand and Fifteen.

GREAT people bringing me to my first llao llao

I will be taking quite a number of planes this year... one in less than 5 days. Life seems unpredictably scary nowadays.

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.

Working on it. Most importantly I want to live every day true to my family, my profession, my relationships and my soul: ilu!

“ 十个男人九个坏，一个想作怪。

如果有第十一个 一定是火星人。” 

This year I was able to splurge on Christmas gifts for my family. That made me very happy. Today... I bought the first present to myself in a long while. I decided yes, let's be nice to me. :>

Time Is Love

Fine-dining style BBQ (I didn't have to cook hehehe), red wine, and a game of Asphalt. Some rare hours of fun amid the last 10 days of running for San Francisco. :---)

Love begets love. Left this on her bed yesterday night.

Too much time was lost this year. I am recognizing the possibility that I may not achieve San Francisco after all. So far, I have managed to cut the shortfall from 29,800 to 3000 credit points. But every day is another day closer. Nevertheless I'll continue to stress myself up until 2359 on 30 Nov. :)

On a better note, here's me looking awkward on stage. 

Thank you X-Seeders!

I don't know why but my colleagues could actually take all sorts of unflattering angles in 30 seconds up there. Hahahaha. OK, wish me some magic for the remaining run!

What happens when you run in the rain

:) Ten years later Gabby Xu and I.

Coincidentally, Punkie's dream car and mine were parked side by side. What compelling vision! 

Most people aim for a Mercedes, BMW or Maserati. These days (because of my line) I sit in them a lot but somehow, I still prefer the one and only car that caught my attention from the day I decided -- I want to drive. 

ALFA ROMEO | BRERA

So few of them on the road but whenever I spot one, I fall in love even more. I'll be behind the wheel. Don't doubt!! =D

Four days ago I posted this

Blessed (press Del).

(...) having your heart broken stays with you till someone else mends it, but breaking the heart of the person you love stays with you for the rest of your life.

I've never thought about it this way.

FLY-DAYS

Upward momentum. 

YOU CAN DO IT CAROL.

Out of 10 billion people in the world, to have met just one to see as absolutely absolute, I think it's a gift. Out of 10 thousand jobs, to find one to take on as absolutely absolute it is a gift. There will be better choices. But if we search all our lives, we will for all of our life remain relatively relative. Because change is exactly what's relative.

The next time, I will give my ♡ to someone who understands this gift. I will feel safe around him. In good times or bad he thinks about me. He recognizes that life isn't that long, time is ticking and every day passed is our love gone wasted. Until all parts have been burnt... I would be his absolute. That's what I am able to give. And that's what I need.

Most of us use time to run and hide and get things to fade away. It works. After all probably no one is irreplaceable. Which is why an absolute is a gift. Using time to try for the importance of people and things that may not even last.

Hey little fellow, I'll bring you home someday. My own home. =)

We write to taste life twice: in the moment and in retrospect.

Such a beautiful perspective. :]

"It's not love to let the other person lose something precious to him or her."

To each his own. I'm just going to live life the way I think it should be. Love too. Which is brave, focused and very honest. Steer away from those non-simple ideals of others.

I have never been cheated on by my partner (choy!). I shall not say I understand 100% what being 'cheated' on feels like... but I can imagine how painful it must be. A pain I'll never want to inflict on anyone. I am in no position to pass judgement. I just want my friends to walk out with minimal damage.

No more sad songs. I've been watching this on repeat. The performance and lyrics gel SO cutely together. Exactly the way I hope my future love would be. It is how every love ought to be! =) Keyworddddddd 只想和你

他們說魔鬼藏在 每個小細節

讓我們無論如何 要小心一些

慢慢熟悉 守衛 手中握住的一切

Ah I really want a 'Mikey' Ninja Turtle soft toy now!!

x Fairy God-colleagues!

Money.

Four lessons.

For the first time ever, I saw a physically weak Daddypops. The word 'weak' and my Dad has never been friends. Voice strained from surgery... unable to feed himself but he still made jokes. Probably to lessen our worry. Till now he is in great pain.
 

I love you Pops. Speeedy recovery! =(

Trust the ‘timing’ of your life.

For the first time we hear him speak about the exact events that led up to divorce. Bits and pieces put together. My father is truly a mentally strong, resilient and kind man. Punkie said it right. There is not one bad bone in him. And as his daughter, I want to be no less than that. =)

I am going to be happy. Not cause anything good happened. In fact the opposite. But there are dear ones now who needs my happy presence. I want to give them what's real, unpretended. The person I love most in this world is also in a bad spot. She doesn't show it (of course the strongest human) but I know she hurts inside. I will detach myself from 'me' for the time being, to go lend them something real. My happiness.

 

B FOR BERNICE

YESSSSS I am going to Disneyland! <:B

ILY 小光。

After two months of working 7 days a week, being sick has its perks. To spend time with my elephants means more time in bed!

加油。

That's how you know you love someone,
when you cannot experience anything
without wishing the other person was there to see it, too.

Some nights.

"You're gonna lose people in your life. No matter how much time you spent with them or how much you appreciate them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough."

 

You must have known. Whether you didn't feel the same way or just never believed, one thing's for sure. I never changed my mind. I always put you first. And you bet against me every time.

HAHAHAHAHHA what the shit 2007.

Finally I get to see youuuuu Meelop!

Ten cases to submit. Ten thousand things to write about. But waking at 9AM to climb up and down ten million staircases, traveling all over the island today, I shall take a breather here.

Solitude is where I'm free

Time and thoughts belong to only me

Happy Mother's Day!

The most fulfilling part of my job.

Wednesday blues

Malacca the bakery.

Yay let's stamp up by 2019.

 

I am convinced nobody's passport looks perfect hahah so it's OK. Pretty excited about this last minute trip. We have never driven into Malaysia and further at night. A couple of hours on the road. I'm hoping we find our way there safely without getting lost. I need some time away from everything. Work although fulfilling... has been chaotic and exhausting. We shall come home looking a little more human. Haha.

AND there is one thing to feel extremely gleeful about. I'll unveil it soon. (;

Happy holiday!

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus

My heart it races and my mind cannot catch up

It lives in two places it runs through doors that should be shut

 

We'd live with the animals, we'd play by the fire

 

Or I could stay right here and watch you from behind

Wave till your ship's left my harbour

 

 

Burnout from 08:00-23:00 days.

But I need a lot, a lot of money so all's good.

I wish myself a dreamless night.

(._.)

Good Friday +

The Weekend.

In Happier Times.

What we assume or think-we-know are only results of our insecurities. It would be nice if everyone could act from their hearts. The world will be an easier and less complicated place to live in. When worry and fear has been removed, what are we humans left with? Truth. And more importantly, acceptance of others' truth.

 

But the world will never be an easy place to live in.

 

We won't embrace our own truth, or we are extremely afraid of others' truth. What people don't realize is that truth resolves everything. Anger can turn into understanding, even rejection into respect. Truth turns worry into comfort. It turns fear into imagination.

 

Just a little teabreak thought. Truth is all I've got.

Not the best picture but definitely two of the best people.

Welcome home Fooey. ( :

7.

what you will eventually come or return to at the end of the day. Watch for where your heart continually returns, and do this before you are physically and literally away from someone. Because at that point, it could be too late.

Things to consider before you leave them.

To the most important person in my life.

Good morning, my thoughts. 

Everything I see in you is different. It's better.

That is all I know.

Happy pills

S-T-S

Happy Birthday Part (III)

It was two days of... partial hell. Like my whole body wasn't mine I was in a constant state of drowsiness. My computer and I were bedridden. But apart from the fever burning out my brain or one pea HAA HA, I needed this break. Besides sleeping 12-hours straight I watched Korean drama.

NC16

The person who loves you cares for your happiness.

No matter how hard it is going to be — caring for your happiness first.

Love is not a because, it's a no matter what.

 

I had to agree. And this meant I was alone.

Happy Birthday Part (II)

Happy Birthday Part (I)

Checking into Space

Sleeping is the best meditation.

I'm on my way.

HAHAHAHA!

 

Didn't buy new clothes nor do up my nails this year. We're not visiting much anyway so I decided to save money. Heee I really think my Daddy is a joke, that's why I've added one from our reunion dinner. Tons of Insta/Facebook 热闹 posts as usual but I'm contented. It was a blissful night for me. (:

 

Here's to everyone I love and care about.

 

May you all have 15 days of eat FAT FAT and laugh BIG BIG.

 新年快乐，幸福安康！！

Ethan is my new boyfriend.

In some cases things that really, really hurt are the right things to do.

Just this once more.

 

Winkles, Lennie, Dumbo, Ah Kun and Tuffy sunbathing after a little shower.
 

 

They need to ring in the new year too!!

 

HAHAHAHAHA bedtime besties rock.

Live GREAT.

 Yay my little corner in her room

Today's Read more is a special message to: IVY ZHONG XINYU

How crazy is crazy?

My body is sounding all alarms.

No damn idea how I'd survive this trip but there's no turning back.

I dread the thought of bunking in with.. strangers. Let's stay positive.

Bye for now!

Patience in one word.

Favorite couple.

Xmas 2013
 

"Your soulmate is the person who forces your soul to grow the most.
Not all growth feels good." – Rabbi Ari

This would be the last. And it will be a blast. :)

I would wait, if it takes you forever. "I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, it's going to be worth it." Day after day, my feelings reminded me. But waiting for someone and clinging on to nothing at all is very different. Happy Countdown everyone!

To not feel sad for we used to love and laugh together. In that enclosed space, she was however quite far away. It's hard to feel complete without the essence of long-time friendship.
 

:*)

To not feel so strongly when you're close by. It's hard, almost suffocating how actions and heart do not align. I can do no more than fall back or match up with your pace.

Everything is hard. But don't be mistaken, Christmas has been good. I will write about Christmas and all the happiness! It's not that difficult to smile. We just need to concentrate on the moment. The wandering thoughts about what-used-to-be, what-might-be, and how-you-would-like-it-to-be, let them haunt us at night.

We take the best that others can give. We are content.

Dumbfounded.

TV for thought.

 

GE Life.

HOME ALONE NIGHT #13. GRATITUDE.

To have complete freedom to write but also to easily remove an entry that is insignificant or 'unhealthy' on hindsight. Some entries will come and go. Speak LESS BAD and think MORE GOOD about people. Either way it comes back to you. :) That's what I thought today. The best part of keeping auhclorac.blogspot.sg since 2006. This space belongs to me. In the end these archives are made up of people, emotions and memories I deem worthy to look back on in future. Good or bad, we are growing every day.

“So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it.”
 

We either want it, or we don't want it. There is no in-between.

To each her own although I cannot understand the things people suggest.

 

"See now you're left with nothing!!"

 

The 'something' here according to them, refers to the attention given by potential suitors. I must admit this much: Indeed it is a nice feeling to be chased. To be showered with gifts from time to time, to receive them as surprises, to have your wants and opinions prioritized by someone. It is a privilege to be treated exceptionally well and being aware of that brings about a nice feeling. But it stops there -- it stops at nice.

 

This is not that warm fuzzy feeling you'll want to keep for long. This is not from the person who makes you feel different. This is not 'something' we should allow to go on just so that we may continue to bask in all of their attention... because then it would be a scam. Not just to the party giving with no obvious return, but also a scam to ourselves.

 

There is absolutely no reason to feel bitter or jealous when this person eventually moves on from us. In all honesty I know I will be genuinely happy for him. We did not or could not accept, not at that point in time, not now. We make our own decisions and we must let others make their fair choices. Yet keeping this 'unwanted' attention is somehow of significance to a lot of women these days. I don't know. Is there some psychological explanation? Maybe it is the subconscious need to verify one's self-worth with attention given by the opposite sex? I will never be able to understand. I am insecure in some ways (hahahaha shit so honest for what) but am I glad I never valued myself based on how many men I could string into texting me at once. It is quite a dreadful form of narcissism, in my opinion. It is more important to make ourselves clear. We can still try to become a good friend to people whom matter. If it works out platonically that would be the best outcome. And if it doesn't, well at least we tried.

It takes time. After some time we know. We will either want it and chase/wait for it. Or we don't want it and let it go. That's all. This is not a football game. There is no reserve.

 

 

Home Alone Night #2 GOODNIGHT.

 √  Quality time with her.

 

♫♪

As sure as the stones that slow your feet down

As sure as the circles turning you round

Always the peace that never got found

Any second now

 

All of the time you thought you got close

How hard it is to love those old ghosts

You get the least but you give up the most

Any second now

 

Nearly morning :)

Should I be anticipating or dreading 3rd December?

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

 

Found

OVER, AND DONE WITH.

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