S-T-S
As I share lesser with the outside world I'm coming here often. While this space is negative compared to previous years, it beats having emotions written on my face and affecting others.
EDIT
EDIT
Today I told her I would continue doing these things. Whatever the reasons are to her are not important to me. I told her to believe if she believes, doubt if she doubts. Daddy said I would feel lighter. I do. I must not live my life under her influence.... but at the same time I shouldn't stop giving because as a daughter it is what I want to do. A difficult balance while living here but the only way I won't end up changing myself.
After all with all the MH370 news going on, life is a series of unfortunate events isn't it. Happening to different people at different times. It's really scary to think about how we can SUDDENLY, SO ABRUPTLY, have no more time to spend or relay even a last message to the people we love. How scary it is to have every opportunity cut short just like that.
I don't want to live life thinking that time will help to resolve things. I don't want to take for granted I'd have all the time to forgive and forget someone's words. We really don't have all the time to go love a person. 'In future' is non existent.
It's not going to be easy to live life as a daughter without being affected by my mother. I am going to need some form of immunity. This is going to happen again, over and over again. The least I can do is try.
I will try not to go back to that saddest place.
Yes. I would need a stronger-than-strong mentality.
* *
So I was terribly late for work and Bernice waited patiently for me. Thanksss babe for lifting my mood by calculating our bonus CP letting me know we are yay a step closer to San Francisco. I wasn't in the mood to talk much. And this Dapani came down just to pass me a bag full of happiness. Yoguru.
(':
Looking forward to two hours of yoga tonight.
