A Fraction of Fiction

Decision.

 

For too many reasons I shouldn't, and cannot leave these people.

Friendships I can fully trust, people who genuinely care,

people who make me curl into balls of laughter every day.
I wouldn't mind eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper with them.

I realized it's not about how long you have been acquainted. Quality counts.

Certain friends I've considered myself close to over years cannot even compare.

 

But time has proven I need to step out of this circle.

 

Every moment I am still here becomes a sad reminder/remainder of what we are.

Even when you're not physically around.

The mention of your name weighs fifty kilograms.

It's funny how no one notices something that feels like explosion inside.

 

Change. Happens in life and it is not the biggest deal.

Somehow though I am not logical when it comes to you.

 

I tried hard to prove your importance to me.

Not for anything more. Just for that bare minimal we once were.

I started conversations (stupid aimless ones), I replaced my nervewrecking emotions with confidence,

yeah I've not done much -- but I have indeed put myself out there very plainly.

Either it doesn't matter at all, or you're refusing to see it.
Any way is fine.
Because right from the start, every move to keep you close has backfired or been misinterpreted.

You're a super duper good person, and even though I can't say I know everything about you,

I believe in that person I grew to like over time, over spaces, over circumstances.

I won't let anyone tell me who is worth it and/or who isn't.

I'm glad it is someone like you that affected me this much.

 

I know you'll be happiest when everyone is together, trouble-free, enjoying simple fun.

I wanted so badly to give you that. What normal I could do, I really did.


But I must finally take some better advice.
I can't be there with them, with you, and expect to one day stop feeling the way I do.