Soon it'll be December again.
Christmas Day last year we celebrated her birthday,
Christmas Day last year we celebrated her birthday,
and a month later.... she left us for good.
Memories work in a very strange way.
All of a sudden someone dear to you is lost, gone forever.
The memories exclusive to her, stored away at the back of your mind begins to unfold.
Little things that are usually omnipresent - magnified now.
Suddenly you see her as she was years ago, chuckling, telling you to eat more.
That cabbage soup so unique to her you know no top chef can ever replicate.
She is getting on in age, but she remembers every nitty gritty detail about you.
There's always a surprise in the fridge when you visit.
You love grapes. She never lets herself forget that.
"Carol ah... sng bang wu pu tor, lao-mm bway kor le jiak."
You see her sitting on the couch, laughing at the television show.
>>
Fast forward to recent times, she doesn't seem to have aged.
Yeah she's a little quieter, watches on more than she speaks, but she is cheerful.
And this is why humans fail to cherish. We assume there would be more tomorrows.
These memories don't regularly play on repeat.
They are stored away airtight, to ease us of responsibilities or perhaps to lessen the emotions.
Only when we finally choose to time-out from the world,
to pull out whatever intimacy you ever shared with that one person,
does it all come running back to you.
does it all come running back to you.
What used to be, what could have been, what would have been.
I'll never forget that morning when Mom broke the news.
It was the first time ever I wept for the loss of someone dear.
The last word she spoke to me, at the hospital, was Goodnight in her cute English.
She probably knew her time was up. I didn't know.
She was very healthy. I had thought there were many birthdays to come.
That monster of a virus was extremely rude. It stole her away abruptly.
She whom took excellent care of Punkie and I since young.
Doted on and loved us unconditionally like her own grandchildren.
She has had at least 7 other children under her wing.
I am blessed because this great woman is my Grand-Aunt (as close as/even closer than Granny).
Been almost a year. I still look at this photograph sitting on my table and tear,
Im reminded to always be a good person. To forgive my mom.
Im reminded to always be a good person. To forgive my mom.
Lao Mm 我还是很想你。
我会记得你跟我说耶稣很好，我不开心可以祈祷。
我会记得你说上帝不会骗人 所以我一定要开心。
不管多难多难相处。 我会帮你照顾妈妈。
这辈子再也不能吃你煮的饭，不可能回到从前
有时候一想到 真的很痛心。
Lao Mm... 生日快乐，圣诞节快乐，我们都爱你。
