Hesitated for a long time, wondering if this should be up.
Iam going ahead... for myself.
He probably doesn't follow anyway.
Today struck hard. Not intentionally though.
The number, the month and the mind.
How much I wish I wasn't updating my calendar.
One of those what could have beens.
One of those what could have beens.
By the way, this isn't here to say Im still holding on.
Don't mock me please.
But letting go of a person don't mean forgetting.
I cannot look at the date and not feel a tinge of sadness.
I cannot control the sudden trance of auto-rewind.
Most people want a past relationship to become an invisible one.
They look at it that way.
I never understand why. The bond is too dam difficult to break
and so I end up tripping all over self-inflicted pain.
Guess Im someone who takes the longer route to recovery.
Yes it has cost me a lot --- pride and forsaken chances;
but time ultimately gave me a better promise to long-term happiness
than anyone else might have.
I need to love in entirety before Iam ready to try again.
>
>
Letting go of a person don't mean forgetting.
Occasionally I still look at our pictures and remb the best parts of us.
Your smile and everything good about you stays with me.
I hug Lennie to sleep at night and slowly he is my next best comfort,
no longer a heartaching memory.
This entry is here because today was once significant.
Maybe a year later, this very day will pass by quietly.
No matter who or whom is in our current lives
I really hope we both find contentment.
But just today, I promise,
let me write about missing.
let me write about missing.
